Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Weird dream/past life?

I fell asleep this afternoon and have a very strange and realistic dream.  It was almost like I was living a past life.  I was a young man and I experienced my life from childhood to young adult.  My father was a horse trainer and had show horses.  I remember learning how to ride and show horses.  The time period was in the pre-world WW2 era.  We lived in Europe.  I rescued a draft horse that I named Tommy.  He was a Suffolk Punch breed horse.  He was lame in his rear left leg and I bid against a slaughter house owner for him.  I rehabilitated Tommy and he became a champion.  The war started and in this dream I saw planes flying over the barns and bombs dropping.  I was trying to rescue the horses and not get killed.  The Nazis were coming to take the remaining horses.  I got on Tommy and was riding away into the forest.  I fell off at some point and was mortally wounded.  I was on a steep embankment and Tommy was at the top.  I called to him and he came to me and I grabbed the reins and he pulled me to the top.  I lay there and took my last breath and died.  It was then that I woke up.  
It is strange because my mother was born in 1945 at the end of WW2 and she is of French heritage.  I guess I read too much into things, but it felt like I was living a past life.  The Suffolk Punch horse was bred in England and used during war time to pull heavy machinery.  They were also sold to slaughterhouses for meat.  It is considered a rare breed today.

Friday, July 21, 2017

July

I seem to be pretty regular with the monthly blogging.  I should do more.  It seems like I really don't do to much.  I had been sick twice since late June with this strange illness.  It was like having the flu except no coughing.  Very debilitating with me in bed for 4 days at a time.  I got very weak and couldn't eat.  I finally went to the Dr. and ended up seeing the PA.  They did blood work and a CT scan.  The blood work came back wonky but they didn't seem to concerned about it.  The CT scan showed a little fluid around my heart, diverticulitis, a small hernia and some tiny minor things that are no big deal.  Oh and a fatty pancreas.  Still no referrals to see anyone except a suggestion to see my oncologist.   I think I have an appointment coming up with him soon anyhow.  I have my appointment with the GI doctor in August to schedule my COLONOSCOPY!  Not looking forward to that but perhaps they can find out why my digestive tract is so messed up.  My weight has dropped to 174.  That is a 34 pound weight loss in one year.  I really haven't been trying except eating less and not eating junk food.  
I had an unusual butterfly visit this month.  It was a Giant Swallowtail.  My first sighting ever.  
Travis and Krys are going to look at a mobile home tomorrow.  I hope they get it.  I got very angry with Travis a few days ago.  Asked him to get something from the pharmacy for me and he gave me attitude.  I said I'm sick of them mooching off me and told him he has 30 days to move out.  
Sarah is going to be 18 in a little over a month.  I think her transition into adulthood is going to be a little rough too.  I think the diabetes is going to be a big factor, especially with this new horrible health care plan that Trump and the republicans are trying to shove through.  Well enough of the negativity.  My goal is to post more and to do more positive things!

Giant Swallowtail

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Late June

Seems like a lot has happened since I last blogged.  I went on my big trip to Louisiana.  Car did ok on the way down except for the tires.  She also doesn't do well on mountains.  In Alexandria I ended up with 4 new tires but Mom and Frank bought them for me.  I had a good visit, got all chewed up by chiggers.  Brenda and I went down to Avery Island to see the Tabasco plant and Jungle Gardens.  Saw a real wild alligator!  On the way home, my transmission broke, got it fixed and made it home.  I also stopped at Animal Adventure park and say April the giraffe, Oliver and the baby, Tajeri.  
Dating life is flat.  Same problems with rejection because of the breasts, or lack there of.  Men are so fucking shallow.  Actually I do get responses, from old obese men.  
Travis and Krys still living here with no signs of moving out.  Sarah is talking about moving to GA with Danny when she turns 18.  I worry about health insurance for her.  Not much else going on.  Made up with Dad.  That is a good thing!   
                                          

Sunday, March 5, 2017

March update

Seems I can manage to remember to blog at least once a month.
February was a pretty dull month.  Not much happened.  My monthly planner looks like I did a lot but some of it is just reminders to do things!
My short term memory is not good and seems to be getting worse.  I can open up a new tab on my computer and then immediately forget what it was I wanted to look at.  
Month of March is already filling in with Dr. appointments for myself and Sarah.  I lost track of days and missed my appointment with my MH Dr. on Friday.  I'll have to call Monday and reschedule and order more medication.
I think I've figured out why I am loosing weight, besides my bowel issues.  I haven't been taking the letrozole for a few months.  I'm sure when I see Dr. L at the end of this month, he won't be happy about that.  I was running some statistics regarding my breast cancer and chance of recurrence using this tool.   http://www.lifemath.net/cancer/index.html
It isn't very reassuring when I plug in my info.  Even with the letrozole, my odds aren't that great.  I'm sure there are so many more factors to take into consideration, but I still need to weigh the risks vs the benefits.
We had a couple of nice warm weeks in February.  Even made it up into the 60's a couple days.  March came in very cold, but it will start warming up a bit next week.  The red wing blackbirds and grackles are back.  I saw a couple robins hopping around too, but they have been around all winter.
I'm taking Sarah and two other girls to see Pierce the Veil and Falling in Reverse tonight.  The concert is sold out and I forgot to get a ticket.  I talked to Jen from the box office and she said they will "work with me".  I don't mind paying, I just need to be in there with the other two girls because they don't have ID.  
I'm considering driving down to see my Mom in late April.  Getting the time off is going to be a problem however.  We have some staff that take entire months off, so if I can't get two weekends off, I'm not going to be happy.  I'm getting a little burned out at Gateway.  I'm feeling revulsion instead of compassion with some of the residents.  It isn't because I don't care, I'm just tired of the smells and sounds.  Death is ugly and gross.
 

Saturday, February 4, 2017

New Year 2017

Yes, it is February but I think this is my first post for the new year.
Donald Trump is the President and I think we are living in an alternate reality.  He is doing a complete fuck up job.  Of course his supporters think he is a living god.  
I didn't really do much for January.  Been out of work for almost a month.  Going back Monday.  Did my taxes.  Getting about $4000 back.  Last year of the earned income credit.  I'm not planning on spending that money.  I am going to save it.  I'm still considering selling the mobile home.  I don't know if the park will want to buy it.  I need to rip out that bad ceiling section.  
Light flurries today.  It has been seasonable in the temps.  
I tried calling Dad but he didn't return my call.  I guess I'm disowned.  He probably expects an apology and he isn't getting one.
Taking the car to the garage on Tuesday to get the other O2 sensor replaced.  I hope that solves the issues with the check engine light.  I am due for inspection this month as well.  I was told I need to drive it to make sure that it doesn't come back on.  I'm hoping the owner will give me a break and let that part slide.  We have been over that already.  I think I need some brake work too.  Every year it is either the front or rear brakes.  I'd like to take a road trip and go see Mom in Louisiana, I just want the car to make it!
I brought Angel and Kimi to the shelter.  I hated to do it but they were pissing on everything and we have too many cats.
Not much else for news..

Friday, January 6, 2017

Moving on in a new year

Hooray a new year....  I don't really celebrate or get "into" a new year and resolutions and all that.  I've learned a long time ago that I don't keep resolutions and my plans don't usually work out the way I want them to.  This year, I just want to take a couple trips.  If I have to go alone, then so be it.  
I want to go to a different region of the U.S.  Southwest, Midwest or North West.  Rocky mountain, Utah and Pacific regions.  I'll have to fly out and rent a car and arrange affordable places to stay.  I could probably pack some camping equipment, but I would have to pay to bring it on the plane.  
The winter so far has been normal.  Cold and snow.  Not like last year with no snow!  I've had to fill the propane tanks twice already and I'm not too happy about that.  I try to keep the thermostat down but it gets so cold in here!  
I need to get a little more work done on the car and it should be good for another year.  It is in pretty good shape considering.  As long as the tranny or motor doesn't go, I'll be good.
I haven't talked to Mike in weeks.  Heard from him on New Year but that was it.  I miss him once in a while, but not bad.  No other romantic prospects in view.  No one wants old, fat Linda.  
Sarah's b/f is here from Arizona for a couple weeks.  He is such a nice young man.  Cute too.  Danny.