Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Surgery is done

I have had my surgery on Friday as scheduled.  I know that was 5 days ago, but I really haven't felt up to blogging until now.  My family has been blessed with great dinners from folks at church and a couple boxes of food stuffs too!  
My surgery site seems to be healing up ok.  I have two drainage tubes in and hopefully they will come out next week.  I am tired a lot but cannot sleep during the day no matter what I do to try.  I sleep good at night but the dog wakes me up two or three times and I am forced to get up.  Rich sleeps right through it.  Speaking of the dog, the lazy sluggard just got up from his early morning nap.  He takes that after breakfast I guess.  Lazy dog.  He should be doing something useful like fetching slippers or something.. 
I am waiting to hear more from my Doctors office or to get a call from the oncologists office with an initial set up appt.  I am not looking forward to this next part of the treatment at all.  I will have to get a port put in for the chemo too, so more surgery is coming up.  A port is a small metal device with catheters.  The catheters go into your major artery and the port is accessed with needles to administer the chemo and to draw blood etc..  It is usually placed in the chest area.  I will be sedated for the procedure which is good, I don't want to have to be awake!  
I am tired so I am going to attempt to sleep.  Probably won't happen, but I can try!  My husband has an annoying habit of slamming doors and coming into the bedroom clomping in his boots and then coming over and touching me.  So even if I am starting to fall asleep I am woken up. 

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Excerpt from Clarksfield pioneers book

Asa Wheeler, Sr., lived in Connecticut at the time of the war of the Revolution. He was drafted into the army and was put to work as teamster and helped to draw pork to Danbury after the town had been burned by the British, a depot of supplies having been established there by the military authorities. He was only eighteen years old and did not relish army life, so he managed to slip away one morning at sun rise. He was a noted runner and it is related that he reached his home, seventy miles away, at sunset. The officers were never able to catch him again. He came to Trumbull county, Ohio, where his wife died. His son Asa was married to Olive Minor, a sister of Daniel Minor, at Vienna, Trumbull county. In 1818 they came to Clarksfield with one child, Lovina, and the old gentlemen came with them. They settled on a piece of land up the river from the home of Benjamin Stiles, near the bank of the river. He raised his house July 13, 1818. Mr. Wheeler set out an orchard there, which was one of the first orchards in the town, if not the very first. In a few years he and his brother-in-law, Joseph Bartholamew, bought out Levi Barnum, who had built the mill, afterwards known as the "Hayes" mill, on the east branch. The business did not pay well enough for them to meet their obligations and they were glad to sell out to Johnson Wheeler (not a relative.) Mr. Wheeler then lived in different places; indeed, some say that he lived in more different houses than any other man in town. He worked for Captain Husted for some time running the grist mill and lived in a log house near the residence of William Stiles. In 1840 he lived in Wakeman and run the mill there. At the time of his death he lived at the Hollow in the house now owned by Dr. C. H. Foss. His children were Sally Lovina, who married Wheeler Percy and who died in 1897; Bethia, the first white girl born in Clarksfield, whose birthday was Nov. 15, 1818. She died in 1836. Anson W., who married, first, Martha Easterly and second, Amanda (Johnson) Wilson, and who lives in Pennsylvania at present. Lucretia, who married Oliver Dunning and lives in Missouri. Mary Ann, who died in 1869. William W., who married Martha Prosser and who lives in California. Lucy, who married Cyrus Dunning and who lives in Nebraska. Lemuel, who is unmarried and lives in Nebraska. In 1836, Mrs. Wheeler died. He then married Sophia Hill, a sister of Ben Hill. She had a daughter, Betsy Wheeler, who is unmarried and lives with her brother Lemuel. Asa Wheeler died in 1875, eleven days after his wife, at the age of 81. Olive Wheeler’s mother came to live with her and the two old people, Asa Wheeler, Sr., and Mrs. Minor, concluded to get married. They afterward went to Daniel Minor’s to live. Asa Wheeler was living at "Hayesville" before 1826 and his wife is said to have taught the first school in that part of the township, the school being held in their house.

Lazy day

Yesterday, I indulged in being very lazy.  I was tired all day, got up at 6:00 to get the kids ready for school and went back to bed until around 9:00.  Got up for a couple hours and went back to bed from around 11:30 until 2:00.  I read that having actual cancer can make people tired.  I wish I would be loosing weight, but then again if I was I would be terminal, so we will skip that wish!  I need to lay off the cookies!
I went over to my Aunt Janice's last night for a sub and chips and she cut and colored my hair.
She wanted to experiment and added a cap of neutral blonde into it and the results were a shade lighter!  I had gotten a coupon for a free box of  foaming haircolor in the mail and gave it to her because I won't be needed it in a couple months!  So this color will see me thru to chemo!  At least I will look my age and not like I'm older.  I am starting to get scared.  Hard to believe that this is happening to me!  No one expects breast cancer when there is NO family history.  I am the family pioneer I guess. 
Speaking of pioneers, my Aunt Janice and I looked through her old family pictures.  I don't have any to show here but on the Wheeler side of the family, my Grandpa owned a dairy farm near Schaghticoke, NY.  After that was sold he bought a bar I think and then built a general store and had cabins out back to let to tourists.  The general store is still there but I believe it is a house.  Grandpa Wheeler originally came from Ohio.  His family can be traced back to the Revolutionary War where Asa Wheeler Sr. served under Gen. George Washington.  He was one of the founders of a town called Clarksfield in Ohio.  He owned a mill there.

The old gentleman on the far left is Asa Wheeler Jr., I believe.  The man with the dark hair and mustache is his son, I believed named Anson.

I don't belong to anymore so I'm not sure of all the names. 
Anyhow, today I am going to pre-op to get my blood draw, EKG and maybe a chest X-ray to check for spread of the cancer to other areas.  Tomorrow I have to go in the morning to family court because Travis' father was called in by Medicaid.  I wish I didn't have to go. 
I have made arrangements for Sarah to spend the weekend at her Grandmothers.  I am starting to feel stressed, Rich keeps coming in the bedroom and standing behind me and it is bothering me.  I better take a Zanax now before I get too paranoid.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Surgery on Friday

I saw my surgeon today and surgery is scheduled for this Friday early AM.  I want to go and get it done.  I will need chemo and radiation.  The tumor size has been upgraded to a Stage 3 plus 1.  5 year survival rate is 67%.  My life is so chaotic now and this is really going to push me to the limit I think.  I really need my husband to step up and help more with the kids.  He cooks and cleans but I will need him to take care of the kids and animals for a while.  Here is a picture of the tumor.  It is the large white blob on the breast image on the right even though the tumor is actually on the left.  It is a reverse image.  Below it you can see a smaller circular blob and that is the sentinal node that has the cancer in it also. 

Saturday, February 5, 2011


I just had jealousy raise its ugly head in my heart.  Saw a post from my old boss on Facebook about how she is waiting for her daughter to get up so they can spend the day shopping, having lunch and laughing.  Why would I be jealous of that?  Because we are so goddamn broke I can't even afford to buy my daughter socks.  I get so angry sometimes about the situation we are in. 

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Hubby on the roof

My husband is up on the roof shoveling it off.  We have had problems with it leaking so he needs to get the snow off.  He wants to build a peaked roof  this summer but I think just sealing it would be better because I have no plans on living here forever!
Still waiting to hear from the Doctors office.  It will be a week tomorrow since the biopsies.  Come on people!  I left a message yesterday and got no response.  Maybe she is running it past the "tumor board" first.  Yes that is what they call it!  Our big snow storm turned out to be a storm dud.  We did get about a foot of snow maybe less.  I think the period of sleet cut it down. This picture is from downtown Saratoga Springs.
We went into town and I got one prescription filled and like an idiot for got to get the other two that I had called in.  Now will have to go back in tomorrow.  Also one I wanted filled had to get "pre-approved".  It is Ambien CR instead of the regular Ambien.  What a crock of crap!  Darn insurance companies.  They had to pre approve my MRI too!  From what I read, if you need chemotherapy that has to also be pre approved!  Dr. to patient, "I'm sorry we can't begin your life saving treatment until it is pre-approved"..  

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


I let myself get over tired last night and by 11 PM was a basket case, I was wanting to go to bed and the kids were stalling and pestering.  The one with the bowel issues decided he needed to go into the bathroom and "Take a poop" as he likes to announce to the entire house.  He is 13 by the way.  Almost 14.  He can clear out a house with the smell of his bowels.  I really lost my temper and was ranting on with bad curse words about that and insinuated to my daughter that she was being a bad word.  I was so worked up that the Ambien wasn't working.  I had to take a Zanax to calm myself down.  I was so angry I just lay in bed thinking how my life sucks and everyone would be better off without me anyhow.  I prayed and asked God for help and then for forgiveness.  I fell asleep shortly after.  I think the stress of waiting for the biopsy results are really getting to me.  Just to think the real battle hasn't even begun yet.  I hope I don't completely loose it and end up in mental health!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The waiting is the hardest part...

Isn't that part of a song?  I am still waiting for the biopsy results.  My left breast is swollen and a sickly yellow color from the bruising.  I went to my regular Dr. yesterday and she said there is no infection and some swelling is normal from the abuse it took.  She seemed very sad when I told her that I have breast cancer.  She knew something was wrong and I don't think she is happy that it took this long to get a diagnosis.  Of course I still don't have an "Official" diagnosis.  I just feel like I'm in limbo.  Wanting to get this on with.  It has been nearly a month since I saw the specialist for the first time.  Another month down the drain.  I am not going into details yet, but I have contacted an attorney.  What worries me about that is if I do win, I will probably loose my health insurance.  Rich said not to worry because we can pay for it but health insurance is expensive if you pay privately.  Maybe I can work something into the settlement if there is one that they have to pay our health insurance...  worth trying I suppose!

The huge winter storm is on its way here.  They are expecting up to 24 inches here.  We have plenty of food, just hoping the electricity does not go out.   Here is a picture of a Junco, a Chickadee and a really weird looking bird, a red headed snow shoveler!