Wednesday, February 2, 2011
I let myself get over tired last night and by 11 PM was a basket case, I was wanting to go to bed and the kids were stalling and pestering. The one with the bowel issues decided he needed to go into the bathroom and "Take a poop" as he likes to announce to the entire house. He is 13 by the way. Almost 14. He can clear out a house with the smell of his bowels. I really lost my temper and was ranting on with bad curse words about that and insinuated to my daughter that she was being a bad word. I was so worked up that the Ambien wasn't working. I had to take a Zanax to calm myself down. I was so angry I just lay in bed thinking how my life sucks and everyone would be better off without me anyhow. I prayed and asked God for help and then for forgiveness. I fell asleep shortly after. I think the stress of waiting for the biopsy results are really getting to me. Just to think the real battle hasn't even begun yet. I hope I don't completely loose it and end up in mental health!