Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Ashamed
I let myself get over tired last night and by 11 PM was a basket case, I was wanting to go to bed and the kids were stalling and pestering. The one with the bowel issues decided he needed to go into the bathroom and "Take a poop" as he likes to announce to the entire house. He is 13 by the way. Almost 14. He can clear out a house with the smell of his bowels. I really lost my temper and was ranting on with bad curse words about that and insinuated to my daughter that she was being a bad word. I was so worked up that the Ambien wasn't working. I had to take a Zanax to calm myself down. I was so angry I just lay in bed thinking how my life sucks and everyone would be better off without me anyhow. I prayed and asked God for help and then for forgiveness. I fell asleep shortly after. I think the stress of waiting for the biopsy results are really getting to me. Just to think the real battle hasn't even begun yet. I hope I don't completely loose it and end up in mental health!
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Give yourself a break Linda, everyone loses it now and then and you are really stressed right now! Its ok. ((((((Hugs))))))
ReplyDeleteYou are stronger than you know and you will get through this. Stress does not help believe me, it only seems to make matters worse. Try and stay as calm as you can. xxx
ReplyDeleteeh... they had it coming! If you can't go nuts on your family from time to time, who can you go nuts on? *hugs* I know it's not easy.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with Nancy: Give yourself a break. And I'll bet you're much stronger than you realize!!!
ReplyDeleteBest,
Marty
I think it is normal to loose it once in a while. You are under a lot of stress. Sending up more prayers for you.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Helen
Sorry it was a rough night. It's easy to get stressed and upset. I know! We can always start over "tomorrow" and make it a better day. Hope you get your results soon.
ReplyDelete