Friday, January 14, 2011

The weight of the world

I have been so stressed out lately.  Going to Four Winds doing the outpatient program, coming home and taking care of the kids, trying to help around the house, trying to get sleep and trying to spend time with Rich.  Not to mention the bills that aren't getting paid..  I am not going to be able to go to school this spring because of the upcoming surgery and I have applied for Social Security Disability and will probably be turned down and have to get a lawyer.  I can't collect unemployment because I told the Feds I am not able to work.  I feel like I just screwed myself and the whole family over.  I am going to look into other options and in the meantime have applied for food stamps and will apply for HEAP.  Waiting for my landlord to give me a letter I need.  I hope he isn't waiting for rent before he gives it to me!
I am just really struggling mentally right now because I have been the responsible one for so long, for so many years and I not only feel guilty, I feel afraid too.  I am glad we will be getting income tax return soon, we will have to spend it wisely, on bills and living expenses etc..  
My Mom isn't doing well, she thinks she will be passing on soon.  She just feels weaker and weaker.  I just hope I can see her one more time before that happens...

3 comments:

  1. I feel for you. I wish there was something I could do for you. I will send prayers your way. Count the blessings you do have and it will take away some of the weight.

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  2. I hope you can see your Mom again before she is gone. Sending up more prayers for you and some for her.
    Helen

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