I find it so hard to stay patient with my situation. I am on disability and allowed to stay on it for two more years if I choose. My husband is not working. He gets money sporadically from school (some of that in loans) and makes a little here and there doing work on computers etc.. This month we had to go to the food pantries 3 times. I don't think it was because I spent and extra $65 on leasing a horse for a month. I guess I won't be doing that again because its an extra expense. I have to spend money on other things that are more important. I get so angry at my husband. He does a lot around the house and keeps things in running order but is that all I can expect from him? He keeps saying when he gets his degree he is going to get a job making lots of money. How long should I hold my breath waiting for that to happen. He has had only 6 months of employment since I've been with him. I've been with him for over 4 years now. Am I the one that is going to have to go back to work? It doesn't seem right or fair. He can make up to $700 a month and we will still be able to keep our insurance. That would make a big difference in our life style.
I realize we are better off than a lot of people living on this planet. I own my house, even though its a mobile home. I have a car. One that is probably going to crap out pretty soon but it runs. I have a little income. I am just sick of it all .. really just sick of it.
I'm tired and worn down and fat. I have no energy for anything and no money to go anywhere if I did.
I just found out a friend of mine is in the hospital in Buffalo with a aneurism on her brain. I want to go see her but not sure if I should spend the money on gas. We would have to camp because we can't afford a hotel room.
We have been just scraping by the last couple weeks. I'm sick of it.. I really am. I wanted to have a temporary separation but my husband didn't want to. He sweet talked me into letting him stay. Saying he didn't have any place to go and no way to take care of himself and his son. WTF... that is really sad.