Thursday, May 10, 2012

Life as a Fat Woman

The arms.. the belly.. the legs.. ugh
I will admit it and I do, I am fat.  Not just fat.. according to the current height and weight charts I am obese.  To me obese is the 350 lb woman in the riding cart at Wal-mart.  I am not so large I turn heads.  I am not bragging of course.. far from it.  I am FAT.  In my mind however I am not fat.  I look at my arms and see normal arms.  I can see my toes if I lean over slightly.  I can bend over and squat and rise.   I struggle however to tie my shoes, put on socks and if I have to kneel on the floor or ground it is hard to get back up.  I do have joint issues and some mobility issues.  Probably from the excess weight.  I have tried dieting and exercise.  It never lasts long because I obsess about food.  It makes me hungrier.  I think for me I will just have to eat healthier and get more exercise.  
I see photos of myself and I am shocked about how fat I really look.  I hate it.  I look old and fat.  I get disgusted with myself.  I see overweight women who can look really good with hair, make up and the right clothes.  Me.. I just am not one of them!  I am going to post a picture that I hate on here.  I usually screen my pictures carefully but this time I'm posting a bad one.
I hate my neck

I hate the double chin

4 comments:

  1. I take my hat off to you! I don't think I could ever bring myself to post a picture of me in a swimsuit! I hear what you are saying though. I am always amazed when I see me in a photo that I don't look like I feel I look. Since I slid past past fifty, my mid-section has become an issue and I know it is the most dangerous place for a woman to carry that weight. Let us strive to take better care of ourselves if not to be gorgeous, just to be healthier and here longer for Bug and Sarah.

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  2. I am behind on reading blogs. So forgive me for posting this after almost a month since you wrote it.

    But it caught my attention. Because just how frank you were about your weight, what you feel like, what you see in the mirror and how honest you are of the can do's and can not's.

    I to am "obese" or as the Dr called it "morbidly obese." I am at around 250 lbs and am 5'3. I am trying to come to terms about my weight & want to do much better at eating well.

    I don't know...when reading your post I felt like there is someone else who feels and thinks like me. It's never talked about. So you begin feeling isolated and believing no one else feels the same as you or has issues of being fat. So it's refreshing that you just put it out there and didn't candy coat it. Thank you for sharing your words with us.

    HUGS & Blessings~Donna

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