At the base of the mountains
At the base of the mountains
Tuesday, February 15, 2022
Break through
February 2022
Thursday, December 23, 2021
Almost Christmas
Hooray, my least favorite time of the year. This Christmas especially sucks because something is very wrong with my sister, Brenda. She has a brain tumor or some type of malformation in her brain stem. Not considered operable. Her latest MRI also indicated lesions in parts of the brain. Her Dr. is going to call her and discuss the results.
My kids are supposed to come over for dinner tomorrow, but I bet Travis will cancel. He has anxiety about going places too, like me.
I did go to the grocery store yesterday. It was packed and my anxiety was bad. I almost left my cart and walked out. I did manage to get the ham for tomorrow and a couple other items to fix with it. I already have veggies. I was going to fix a chicken, but to me that isn't very Christmassy and I already lost out on turkey for Thanksgiving. I want ham, dammit!
Wednesday, October 20, 2021
14 years!
I just realized that I have been blogging here for 14 years! That's a long time. Not much new going on. I quit Home Instead and I'm now a free lance pet sitter. I've been enjoying it for the most part. Most of my money seems to go to Niko but I have managed to put some away. I have a few repeat clients and some new that are just starting. I have a new client starting this Friday for a week. They have 4 dogs and a cat. The dogs really seem to like me and I like them as well. The home is beautiful. I won't be spending the night, but it isn't far away. I am doing an overnight for 3 days at Thanksgiving. Three really sweet small dogs. One looks so much like my Buzzy dog. I looked into his sweet little face and could see my Buzzy there. This dog's name is Onyx.
When I'm not doing that, I am mostly staying home. I keep telling myself that I need to get out and exercise. I really do. I've been having increased back issues and I'm getting flabbier by the day with no muscle tone. The upcoming pet sit is by the Indian Kill nature preserve, so I will get in there and go geocaching. Last time I went there, I nearly passed out a couple times, my heart was acting up. There are also several new caches at Anchor Diamond that is up the road a couple miles. Tomorrow I have to go to Ballston Spa and sign a couple papers at the Veteran agency. I also need to stop at Agway and get some bird seed. I'm getting the cheaper kind because those darn sparrows just throw it all on the ground. I'm hoping to get something besides sparrows this year. I have had a Blue jay a couple times.
I haven't posted a memory about my childhood in a while. I will post something happy. My Mom used to take us for a lot of nature walks when we were kids. We lived in the middle of the country, so there were plenty of places to go! We often walked up to the sand pit in the summer to pick blackberries. We would take a packed lunch with us. Mom would make jam from all the berries we picked during the year. The sand pit has been a dumping ground for lazy people since I was little. The state finally blocked the road, but I don't think they ever took out the trash. We call it the sand pit because it is literally a sand dune in the forest. I turned the area into an Earthcache and there is a physical cache there too that I should check on. This area used to be the bottom of an ocean many millions of years ago. There are many areas that have large deposits of sand still left from then. There is certainly no shortage of sand for the town to use when treating the roads in the winter! There is a large sand pit used by the town on Lake Desolation Rd and also one on Bockes Rd. The sand heap on Bockes is interesting because in the spring, swallows dig nests into the sides of the pile and raise their young there.
Wednesday, June 9, 2021
A bit of relief
The veteran housing told me that I don't have to move, that I can stay here. I like that idea, but then of course I feel guilty for not taking advantage of the section 8 program. I am really not a big fan of it to begin with seeing as it puts me under the thumb of the housing authority. People on section 8 get a bad reputation too. Lazy, drug users, drunks, etc.. Worse than living in a mobile home, ha ha!
There is not much let up as far as anxiety. My shrink gave me a two week notice to take off work. More guilt. I'm thinking about just retiring. I'm not sure if that is a good idea or not. I've been housebound for over a week now. I want to go out and go fishing or something but my anxiety won't let me get there. I have a million excuses. My anxiety starts as soon as I wake up and goes until I go to bed. Taking a zanax helps but I don't want to be drugged all the time.
I bought another inflatable kayak. I haven't tried it out yet. I'm thinking the seat is going to be an issue because it doesn't give me much support. Maybe when I'm actually on the water it will feel better. I would rather use my regular kayak. I saw a video online on how to make some modifications to make it easier to get it on the car. Another version of the blanket and slide. I just have to get up the courage to just do it. Tomorrow is supposed to be a nice day, so maybe I will just go! I have to make sure I have two tie down straps first, or just take the inflatable.
My brother is coming up for a visit soon. He will be staying out at his daughter's place. I hope him and I can go out on a couple adventures.
My youngest adult child was in a short documentary in 2019 and it has been selected to be shown in the Lower Eastside Film festival in NYC in July! I'm very excited for him. I hope that he and his friends can go down for the premiere. It would be awesome if it won an award too and went on to other film festivals. He is going to visit his friend Cale in Boston this month. Cale got an apartment. I know Niko would like to move to Boston but with no job or car or income, it isn't likely. I know sometimes it is harder for kids to leave the nest.
Niko's grandmother has cancer. It is in her back somewhere. She is going to get an MRI or something to see if it has spread. She is in her 80's. I don't know what will happen with Niko if she passes away. More than likely, he will have to move somewhere else or move in with someone else. He can't live here with me, unfortunately. If he got a job we could get an apartment together. I've been rambling, so I'm ending this post!
Thursday, June 3, 2021
Another moving nightmare
I have only been in this apartment less than a year and I'm already being pressured to leave. My veteran counselor signed me up for section 8 without telling me. So now I have this housing voucher and I have to try to find another place to live in 60 days. I wasn't prepared for this. I am so stressed out. The housing situation around here is ridiculous. Rents are so high in this county. The lady upstairs is moving, maybe. Don't really know what is going on with her. So either the veteran's can take over that apartment or I can move up to it. It is half the size of the one I have now. I can make do, I don't need all this furniture or space but it is up a flight of very steep stairs. It is just such a pain in the ass right now that I don't need. My employer keeps pressuring me to pick up hours too. I've been spending a lot of time just reading or being on my laptop. My back is starting to act up too.
I am seriously just considering leaving everything and just go live in my car like I had originally wanted to. That will be harder too. Dealing with address issues and such. My depression and anxiety is not helping at all. I just want to be left alone.