Friday, May 27, 2011

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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

I would like to wish everyone a Happy Mother's Day today.  I wish I could give my Mommy a gift today, but I will be sending her a package soon with some old family photos and a surprise!  Myself.. I received a bleeding heart plant, solar lights, a gift card and flowers and a cake! 
I was feeling pretty depressed and sorry for myself yesterday.  I didn't go to the Mother's Day tea at church because I just didn't feel like sitting around and smiling and trying to be happy.  I will go to church today and be happy there.  Maybe during the sermon we can get the bigger kids outside to start the garden.  I will see who is in charge of the class today and ask them.  Or we can do it after during fellowship.  Need to get those seeds in the ground soon! 
I am having a hard time dealing with being bald.  I am having a hard time dealing with only having one breast.  I feel very self conscious.  I try to project a positive appearance on the outside but inside I'm cringing.  Not that I'm a supermodel to begin with but I don't want people to look at me and feel sorry for me.  I have been getting the pity smile occasionally in public.  I just smile back and go on my way.  No one asks questions.  I just had one lady approach me out of the blue and tell me to stop by her spa and get some cooling gel for when I start chemo!  I haven't worn my wig.  I feel like that will make me stand out even more.  It is too tight anyhow.  I am supposed to go to look good feel good at the Cancer center on Monday and I will take it with me and see if they can fix it.  I'm hoping to get a prosthesis soon too.  Waiting for insurance approval.  Those light weight puffs don't cut it.  I look lopsided!  Maybe I can put a rock in it!  LOL  Anyhow I am trying to enjoy spring and my birds and the sunshine.  Blessings to all!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Pain and more pain...

Ok I am going to whine just a little.. My back has been killing me!  Ok that is enough.. LOL  Spring has finally arrived here in the Northeast and things are just beautiful.  I really enjoy this time of year.  It is not too hot and we are finally seeing leaves and flowers.  The migratory birds are coming back.  I had my first hummingbird three days ago!  That is early for me!  I have pansies out in the boxes on the deck.
Chemo has been easier this time except for some strange pain in my shoulders and my back of course.  I have a little bit of numbness in my fingertips.  I need to get to the store and get some seeds to start soon.  Also bedding plants for food, cabbage, broccoli etc..  It is too early to start tomatoes but we can get some cold weather stuff going. 
Here are a couple spring pictures!  Red trillium and skunk cabbage!